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[Reed Teran]

Tale-Teller:Gather round, kiddies, and listen to the greatest story ever told. A story of a meeting of minds, of a war of culture, of a mutual hatred for a single great enemy. A story of light-filled good...and dark, sinister secrets. I speak...of the Golden War.

 

*It was a normal, normal day in the Paperverse, full of war/foightin'/smashin'/normal activities. The Paperverse, like a raucous thunderstorm at sea, is normal among craziness. On Duunaros, brothers wage eternal war, on Lubrique, a shaky alliance works together to take a foothold in the universe at large, on New Germany, strict routine and martial law takes precedence, on Mobius, one fight to save the planet leads to another, all in all, Same old. Until...a once-in-a-millenia event happens.

 

A rift in space opens...and deposits a planet. A planet misplaced, with a new race...the Derexians. These newcomers are surely in for a wild ride, as the Paperverse is quite turbulent. And a wild ride they got...*

 

(A little exposition: once every millenia, some odd kind of force rips a planet out of it's star system and deposits it it the Paperverse. Some stay (Grammatica, Retron), others get blown to pieces (Spring Pingas Zone and the once-legendary Arkamar). Just hope your planet lives and doesn't receive an Obliterator Fleet courtesy of Bruton)

 

*Meanwhile, at the fringe of the Paperverse, a fleet of ships drifts in wait, eager to attempt domination of this system,...just 'cuz they can. This Irken Invader fleet keeps it's position, as the Tallest consider their options..*

Tallest 1: Hmm...just going in guns blazing would be a deathwish...the big masked guy would tank us.

Tallest 2: we could send an Invader to establish a foothold, maybe one of our best and brightest!

Tallest 1: Are you kidding me? we need to send our worst. That way, maybe we could just coast in and use his retrieval as an excuse to approach a planet without being blown out of the sky.

Tallest 2: GENIUS! But..who is our worst...?

*Tallest 1 presses the PA button with a sigh.*

Tallest 1: Invader operative Zim, report to bridge.

[ILOVEVHS]

(Zim proudly arrives on the bridge, with Gir, who is playing with a toy squid, in tow)

Zim: (proudly, and loudly. Heh. Rhyming) Invader Zim, reporting, my Tallest!

[Reed Teran]

Tallest 1: Hey, Zim, we have a very...important mission for you. Its super important.

Tallest 2: We can't stress how important this is to the Irken people.

Tallest 1: You're gonna be invading a planet. 

Tallest 2: ...

*they turn and conversate...then trn back around*

Tallest 1: You'll be invading...err...the locals call it Duunaros. Big planet. The locals there are totally harmless and weak, so it'll be easy!

[ILOVEVHS]

Zim: Hmm...yes, another invasion, a perfect mission...hopefully, they're even weaker than the...(cringes in memory) HUMANS!!!
Gir: They wasn't so baaaaad...
Zim: SILENCE!!

[Reed Teran]

Tallest 1: Yeah...go deploy, we've set the coordinates on your ship.

[ILOVEVHS]

Zim: Yes, my Tallest! I will report to you on arrival! GIR! PREPARE THE SHIP!
(Gir puts the squid toy n his head and runs giggling to where the ships are, Zim marching behind, while thinking of his MIGHTY-ness)

[Reed Teran]

*and so, Zim GLORIOUSLY set off...to a big scary planet full of savage and heavily armored barbarians.*

 

Tallest 1: ...well, problem solved! He's totally dead.

Tallest 2: should I contact New Irk to prepare a body retrieval?

Tallest 1: Nah.

 

*after a while, Zim lands on the hot and volcanic Duunaros, next to a lava river.*

[ILOVEVHS]

(Zim overlooks the area)
Zim: Hmmm.....hm? Hmm. A very destructive area it seems. No matter. SOON THE FILTHY INHAIBITANTS OF THIS PLANET WILL BOW TO ZIIIIIIIM!!!
Gir: Oooooh, this place is all 'splodey!

[Raven]

Aboard the Massive, before the Tallest, a cloaked figure appears with a loud spacial distortion. 

 

"Irkens, are you not?" The figure asks plainly, his voice sounding cold as ice.

[Reed Teran]

*Zim isn't alone long, as a group of hulking, 12 foot tall viking-esque warriors with guns approach him, as scary as ever.*


*the Tallest both whirl around in surprise*
Tallest 1: Who..what?!
Tallest 2: KILL IT!

[Raven]

With a quick motion, the figure dashes forward with white flamed thrusters, and grabs the red Tallest by the face, holding him up. 

 

"Now now, you don't want to act to brash, now do you?" The figure asks with a single silver eye and toothy grin revealed under the hood visible to the Tallest in one eye, the large thruster ready to fire in the palm of the figure's robotic hand visible in the other eye.

[ILOVEVHS]

(Grabbing by the face is exactly what people do in Zim's world)

Zim: SPOTTED?! BUT HOW?!
Gir: Maybe we shoulda hid somewhere where's we can be NAKED!

[Reed Teran]

Brutonian: OI! That little runt would make a nice hood ornament for the cruiser!
*they break into a charge*

*Tallest 2 meeps.*

[Raven]

"You Irkens are in the domination business, right? I don't much care for totalitarian empires." Says the figure as he balls his free hand into a fist, encasing it in white flames.

[Reed Teran]

Tallest 1: G-Get the DDT! Get someone!
*Tallest 2 sort of flails, as a dark ball of balefire appears in the room, and out steps a grim-looking guy in heavily spiky armor, with black hair covering his eyes. He brings out a scythe.*
Dark Thorn: Well look what we have here. A vigilante. Where do you hail from there, superman?
*Tallest 1 completely loses it, running around screaming*

[Raven]

"Pacifica Vastum, Nexus homeworld. Am I to presume you're the fighting type? I've been itching for a good brawl." Says the figure as he releases the red Tallest, turning to Dark Thorn, reaching up and tearing off his cloak. "The name's Inertia. Where I'm from, it's polite to introduce yourself to a potential adversary."

[ILOVEVHS]

Zim: (Enough screaming to be renamed Screamy)
(Zim grabs Gir and returns to the ship, lifting up to fire on them)

[Reed Teran]

*a flaming black axe misses Zim by a centimeter.*

Brutonian: RAAAAGH! SMASH EM!

 

 

DT: Dark Thorn, son of the god of this universe. I am not here to fight you, only to warn you. Dare you upset the balance, and you will die at my presence, for I need not use my weapons. Dare it be meddled with twice, and your race will be expunged, totally obliterated by those who watch your every move.

[ILOVEVHS]

(Zim gives a little squeal of delight as he fires powerful lazer torpedoes at them from his ship)

[Reed Teran]

*They seem to do very little, as one of the savages leaps onto the ship, repeatedly bashing his head on the cockpit window in an attempt to break it*