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[ILOVEVHS]

Sam: Hey, kid, you gonna just gather dust, or are we gonna get somewhere. Set a course for Earth. They'll buy anything.

[RedAuthar]

Kirkov:  Fine fine

[Rubs his brow]

Kirkov:  Send in the Strormswords!

[Reed Teran]

*and so, the Stormsword company rolls out from Mars Pattern Command.*

[Raven]

"That was mildly disappointing... Surely that's not all they had to offer..." Sigma says with a sigh as he rests his axe on his shoulder.

[Reed Teran]

*and in no time, Sigma is suddenly bombarded by semi-nuclear bunker buster rounds, as the 4 Stormswords roll over the hill, their sponson bolters opening fire, littering him with small explosions*

[Raven]

The initial explosions catch Sigma off guard and knock him back a ways. After getting to his feet, Sigma bats the bolter rounds away before throwing his axe at one of the Stormswords at super sonic speeds.

[Reed Teran]

*it sticks in the hull, but otherwise does nothing else. Baneblade variants don't fuck around. They fire another salvo of nuclear shells*

 

MV: Sir, the Stormsword company is reporting initial successes.

[RedAuthar]

Kirkov:  Good.  That should solve....you know what send more grunts out there to back them up, just in case.  

[Reed Teran]

*behind the stormswords, more dropships arrive, bringing more guardsmen to vback up the tanks.*

[Raven]

Sigma bursts out of the explosions yelling, "Fun tiiiiiiiiiimes!" as he crashes into one Stormsword and rips off a plate of its hull, flinging it over his shoulder hard enough to turn the plate into a saw that saws another Stormsword right down the middle.

[Reed Teran]

*the driver inside panics, as the plate ONLY pierces the other stormsword enough to impale the operator, causing him to fall against the controls, sending the tank blazing off into the sunset*

[Uncle Ben]

*Jeff sends the ship to Earth*

[Reed Teran]

*after a warp jump, the ship is between MASSIVE FUCKHUEG BATTLESHIPS, staring at Holy Terra, lit up like a christmas tree with cathedrals visible from space. The radio-looking thing comes to life*

Radio: Unmarked vessel, this is Vox-Tower 14533223432, you are entering most holy airspace. Identify yourself or recieve the Emperor's Justice.

[ILOVEVHS]

(Sam grabs whatever device is used to speak)
Sam: This Sam and Max, Freelance Police, with an extra guest. We seem to have lost our way, so we're just on our way back to our own civilization.

[Uncle Ben]

Jeff: Name's Jeff, I'm a merchant trying to get back home.

[Reed Teran]

Radio: Our auspex scans have picked up two xenos lifeforms upon your vessel. Terminate them or you will be taken by the Ordo Xenos.

[Raven]

"I'll just help myself to this." Says Sigma as he rips the turret off the Stormsword and mounts it on his forearm, taking a few shells with him before he smashes the Stormsword under his huge boot.

[ILOVEVHS]

Sam: Who, us? We're just passing by! There's no threat in letting us go.
Max: Gee, Sam, we have so many enemies by now, I don't even recognize these guys.

[Reed Teran]

*the "turret" is nothing more than the built-into-the-hull Stormsword Cannon, useless without the whole tank, as complex as it is. the tank actually ROARS at Sigma for this, exploding in his face with some pretty heavy force.*

MV: Reporting losses...2 of the Stormswords, one disabled, one destroyed.

 

Radio: Xenos presence still detected. Standby for purgation.

[Uncle Ben]

Jeff: Ohh god dammit. *Grabs his gun and points it at Sam & Max, but motions them to an escape pod*