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@  chief : (09 November 2019 - 02:20 PM)

http://www.sonicsatam.com/sea3on/

@  Shadow : (31 October 2019 - 10:44 AM)

H A P P Y H A L L O W E E N

@  Kev : (20 October 2019 - 02:19 PM)

Sally acorn painting you can try to follow along, needs re-voicing as its just me for now.

@  Kev : (20 October 2019 - 02:18 PM)

Made another cartoon episode, its a painting tutorial on youtube check out my channel= 2D 3D CARTOONS

@  Wulfsbane : (05 October 2019 - 11:05 PM)

Well the player base went up exponentially since the switch.

@  wildfire : (05 October 2019 - 08:39 PM)

Probably to help Bungie now that Activision's money isn't backing them.

@  Wulfsbane : (03 October 2019 - 06:33 AM)

Destiny made the move to Steam.

@  Wulfsbane : (09 September 2019 - 10:12 AM)

We'll probably see Tracer soon

@  Shadow : (06 September 2019 - 10:48 PM)

I'd rather see Mai in Smash

@  Wulfsbane : (06 September 2019 - 09:05 AM)

I'm more surprised about the Fatal Fury character.

@  Wulfsbane : (06 September 2019 - 08:00 AM)

Really wasn't keen on the idea of Sans being playable, but I guess he's in the same vein as Ness/Lucas

@  Wulfsbane : (06 September 2019 - 08:00 AM)

I think it works.

@  GamemasterAn... : (05 September 2019 - 06:53 AM)

So...Sans is a Mii Gunner costume for Smash. Comments?

@  Wulfsbane : (31 August 2019 - 08:00 PM)

Alright, AEW's All Out was pretty freaking good.

@  Wulfsbane : (20 August 2019 - 06:22 AM)

The Knux will Layeth the Smacketh Down all over your Candy Ass!

@  GamemasterAn... : (20 August 2019 - 05:59 AM)

"Finally, the Knux...HAS COME BACK...to Angel Island!"

@  Wulfsbane : (19 August 2019 - 07:26 PM)

Strangely I can see it.

@  Shadow : (18 August 2019 - 10:39 PM)

Imagine Dwayne Johnson voicing Knuckles...

@  Wulfsbane : (17 August 2019 - 02:31 PM)

The Rock has come back? XP

@  chief : (17 August 2019 - 02:26 PM)

http://www.sonicsatam.com/sea3on/ finally...


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By-Tor's Fan Fict: One Bad Day


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27 replies to this topic

#1 Prince ByTor

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Posted 07 October 2013 - 08:57 PM

I deleted my story for personal reason, sorry.



#2 TheRedStranger

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Posted 07 October 2013 - 09:41 PM

I've been waiting for this. :awesome:   

 

 That title fits oh so well...



#3 TheRedStranger

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Posted 09 October 2013 - 10:06 AM

Remember to request a review for you work on the Fan-Fic-Co. Thread, Bytor.



#4 TheRedStranger

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Posted 09 October 2013 - 10:09 PM

 

Remember to request a review for you work on the Fan-Fic-Co. Thread, Bytor.

 

Thanks for reminding me. I'll probably wait until the story is complete for a proper critical thrashing, but anyone is welcome to put their two cents in on this first part.

 

I've been busy as heck these last few weeks scanning, touching up, and organizing about 2500 photos for my grandmother; some of which are over 125 years old. The foxing and fading is so bad that I have been surprised how well the computer can clean them up. Hopefully once I'm done I'll have more time to dedicate to writing; I hoping to have part 2 ready in by late next week or sometime the week after. (Fingers Crossed).

 

 

 I plan to. First I am going to proofread Red's work, then get to your's.

 

Really? I do that for a living.  xD  One cool thing I do is green screen people during photshoots and give them really cool movie-poster style backgrounds. 



#5 TheRedStranger

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Posted 09 October 2013 - 10:25 PM

Black and white photos are easy, but I like to leave just a modicum of the natural sepia foxing. The colour ones... now that's another story; balancing the black levels with colour saturation is a pain in the arse; especially if the photo was overexposed to begin with, but I have learned how to do it. Oddly enough, the early coloured photos from the 1940s have fared the best, but it almost seems as if they were coloured in post-developing.

 

It's the ugly red-toned early color photos that unerve me...yes blacks get icky quick that way.

 

 I use Photoshop CS6 for my work and digital art.

 

 I do a lot of photography and photo editing: http://theredstrange...-Babe-394772542



#6 TheRedStranger

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Posted 09 October 2013 - 10:44 PM

That's awesome, I've still got CS1, but I'll be bidding it a fond adieu later this month when I upgrade my os to 10.9; I hate that they discontinued Rosetta, so all of my Power PC programs will no longer work. However, for this project I'm just using the Preview program that came with my computer.

 

I got The Master Suite 80% off because of student discounts (best way to get all you software needs). I saved a  lot of money for that and to build my own computer so I could get into the graphics game. I still am learning After Effects and Flash slowly but surely. I also do music production, and I am planning and saving to get a Cintique and the Komplete VST pacakge next. My dream is to be a Media Mogul and a creative Renissance Man. I have far to go, but I got a good head start on people my age (who are usually to busy flunking college and piling up debt, being drunk, and contracting STD's. Seriously, over three kids from my graduating class are already do to dead bad lifestyle choices  :icon_sad:). Makes me thankful for having supportive parents and a functional family. Honestly, it's weird to be to doing bussiness like this at such a young age. I  am and still look very much like a kid, and when people ask me what I do and then I say I am both self-employed and work as a Community Living Tech for the goverment their jaws usually drop.  xD



#7 TheRedStranger

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Posted 09 October 2013 - 11:39 PM

That's the way to do it; only pay what you have to; that's why I switched to open source programs such as Open Office.

 

I know how that is, sometimes it sucks being the responsible one, but as long as you are in God's Will things often work out.

 

 We reap what we sow. I witnessed to a lot of those guys before they died... One of the greatest witnessing oppurtunities I ever got was after one of their deaths. I broke down after the middle of class, and lamented in tears how me and my best friend tried to get through to this guy. A fellow druggie overheard me (who was secretly guilty for being coenabling along with him) stormed out of the room in a self-righteouss fluster. After an apology later from him later that day, it really impacted him and his circle of friends when the teacher asked him sit down and talk with me. She herself was a skeptic of sort, and the talk even shook her up.  All through Highschool I was kind of the ghost. I could set at any table, talk to anyone. Most of the people I met again tell me I had a big impact on their lives, because I took the time to talk to them about spiritual things. One in paticular just the other day, who was working at the time, brought me my dinner and told me how he soon converted after awnsering some questions he had as a skeptic. All I can say is Sole Deo Gloria.

 

 Being the responsible one comes with only a temporary pains, my yoke is easy, my burden is light. And the befits are excellent xD .

 

Proverbs 3:5-6.

 

As for you work. I would recommend adding some more spacing for the diologue and paragraph changes. You have a very kinetic and staccoto writing style. If you could kick it into a slower gear and add some cool, detailed-filled and huantingly reflective scenes and segments for your characters to digest the impact and relevancy of your intense action, you could be AAA.  



#8 TheRedStranger

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Posted 10 October 2013 - 01:08 AM

I appreciate your feedback; as always it's appreciated.

Truthfully, I've really never really thought much about my writing style; I usually have the story already written in my mind and I let the characters write much of the story. Literally, when I'm writing I am acting out as the character would in my mind; it's hard for me to write when I'm not alone because I'm an extremely introverted and reserved person, but that's the way I write.

Thanks again, I'll try to take draw stuff out more.

 

 I took the Myers-Brigs test once and the results were weird...they came back inconculsive three times. I was niether I or E in that field, and the same came out similar. My teacher just shrugged it off and said, "okay you obviously broke the system."   xD  I was especailly right down the middle when it came to Percieving and Judging, I refuse to let those get out of balance.

 

 I keep to myself when I know I need to. But when the moment comes I am not afraid to speak in front of a large crowd (I have done this quite a bit) or reason with people in public discource. I actually shouted down some goon in the Richmond court house once for philbustering during a very important session. People cuaght on quick and local professor got my back and said "Let the kid speak! He actually knows he's doing!" I have a knack for cuasing dissention people (I did this once with a crowd of 500 freshman at my first college Convocation after they were their religion was mocked with mere cheap-shots in a chapel). Aunt Sally would be proud. :awesome:

 

 Yes, you got a great style. As an introvert I want to encourage this creative outlet for you. I just think you need to take one step further, soaking yourself deeper in their reactions and perceptions as well as their actions. Doing is only one part the cycle of human drama: We do, but we also think, we feel, and we want and those define both idealogies and our actions actions. When you do this, you will find yourself just being an oddly focus form of outlet for these characters. It can get surprising at times how fast and fluid the work enjoyably goes when you start to narrate from that wholistic perception of the characters, how much gets done.



#9 Prince ByTor

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Posted 17 October 2013 - 08:18 PM

.



#10 Prince ByTor

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Posted 12 November 2013 - 12:11 PM

.



#11 TheRedStranger

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Posted 12 November 2013 - 07:35 PM

Breaking Antoine's nose must've felt real good right then...

 

 Overall this is an intrguing concept and story. I hope it gets the attention it deserves. I plan to write a review for this.



#12 TheRedStranger

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Posted 12 November 2013 - 08:27 PM

 

Breaking Antoine's nose must've felt real good right then...

 

 Overall this is an intrguing concept and story. I hope it gets the attention it deserves. I plan to write a review for this.

 

Thanks, in my opinion the whole story will be much greater than its parts. That being said, I had a lot of fun with this chapter.

I tried fixing the format to make it easier to read. For some reason the tabs from my master file don't carry over to the forum post.

 

 

I get the same problem with EoT in spades.



#13 TheRedStranger

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Posted 13 November 2013 - 10:59 AM

I am writing a edit/review for this.

 

 Right now I'm focusing editing WfM though for a proir promise, this comes next. :)



#14 scififry

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Posted 16 November 2013 - 08:12 AM

Agreeing with Stranger on the concept being intriguing - haven't read a fanfic (haven't read many yet, though) before, in which a main character got injured this badly, and also with getting to the core of why Mobians are humanoid animals and not just animals.

 

I see the thing Stranger pointed out of you using relatively little description compared to his fanfic, EoT, from another perspective. Since you stated that it takes place somewhere in mid/late Season 2, I think it's not necessary to describe things that much, e.g. Knothole, as opposed to his fic, in which we're in a somehow different Mobius because it's set about 3 years after the events of Season 3. Everybody here should know what it looks like in Season 2 though so it's in my opinion unnecessary to describe it any further, so a more detailed description would only be necessary for places we don't know yet, like that colony of old concrete buildings. The thing with introducing new stuff applies to characters too of course so I was wondering who Hamlin is. Otherwise I like the fast pace your fic has.

 

Despite all of this I really enjoyed reading your fic, looking forward to the next parts! :)



#15 TheRedStranger

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Posted 16 November 2013 - 02:07 PM

 

Agreeing with Stranger on the concept being intriguing - haven't read a fanfic (haven't read many yet, though) before, in which a main character got injured this badly, and also with getting to the core of why Mobians are humanoid animals and not just animals.

 

I see the thing Stranger pointed out of you using relatively little description compared to his fanfic, EoT, from another perspective. Since you stated that it takes place somewhere in mid/late Season 2, I think it's not necessary to describe things that much, e.g. Knothole, as opposed to his fic, in which we're in a somehow different Mobius because it's set about 3 years after the events of Season 3. Everybody here should know what it looks like in Season 2 though so it's in my opinion unnecessary to describe it any further, so a more detailed description would only be necessary for places we don't know yet, like that colony of old concrete buildings. The thing with introducing new stuff applies to characters too of course so I was wondering who Hamlin is. Otherwise I like the fast pace your fic has.

 

Despite all of this I really enjoyed reading your fic, looking forward to the next parts! :)

 

Thanks for your reply; I've been working on my writing skill and all feedback is helpful. And I agree, I definitely need to make better descriptions. Hamiln is the pig you see as a background character in SatAM, in the Archie comic he was given the name the same with Larry Lynx, but I can't remember if you see him in SatAM.

Thanks again for your feedback!

 

 

You can see Hamlin I think...I will have to check.



#16 scififry

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Posted 17 November 2013 - 06:54 AM

Thank you for the clarification; I think that Hamlin can be seen at the end of the SatAM intro too when all the background FFs are cheering shortly before Sally kisses Sonic. It's just that I've only read one of the Archie comics so far which I saw by coincidence in the local tobacco store. I just checked that one issue and found Geoffrey St. John :D

 

Now that I'm filled in on all the characters my point about introducing new characters became partly invalid - you could easily note in the introduction part saying in which universe your story is set that it includes characters, or the names these before unnamed characters got from the comics.



#17 Prince ByTor

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Posted 17 November 2013 - 12:13 PM

Thank you for the clarification; I think that Hamlin can be seen at the end of the SatAM intro too when all the background FFs are cheering shortly before Sally kisses Sonic. It's just that I've only read one of the Archie comics so far which I saw by coincidence in the local tobacco store. I just checked that one issue and found Geoffrey St. John :biggrin:

 

Now that I'm filled in on all the characters my point about introducing new characters became partly invalid - you could easily note in the introduction part saying in which universe your story is set that it includes characters, or the names these before unnamed characters got from the comics.

 

Thanks again, yeah, I'm staying with SatAM in most anything I write, but I can see your point if I use the names of characters when they are used in Archie. I'll go back soon and make some changes to fix the story.



#18 scififry

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Posted 18 November 2013 - 11:20 AM

In my opinion the parts of your story itself you released until now can stay as they are; just change the header. The cool thing later on is that you can see the progress you made from the beginning to the point you'll have have reached then. There practically is nothing to be fixed about the story :) you may not have used descriptions that exact that I as the reader have the same image in my mind as you have in yours, but they're definitely good enough. What I like about using less descriptions sometimes is that it leaves some space for imagination which is a cool thing too.



#19 Prince ByTor

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Posted 18 November 2013 - 12:57 PM

In my opinion the parts of your story itself you released until now can stay as they are; just change the header. The cool thing later on is that you can see the progress you made from the beginning to the point you'll have have reached then. There practically is nothing to be fixed about the story :) you may not have used descriptions that exact that I as the reader have the same image in my mind as you have in yours, but they're definitely good enough. What I like about using less descriptions sometimes is that it leaves some space for imagination which is a cool thing too.

 

Your post made me remember something. When I wrote where Sonic and Bunny were heading into those ancient concrete buildings where Tails and Sally were I actually was wanting the reader to feel the sense of urgency the characters felt. I suppose the brief description helps in aiding the feeling of their "tunnel vision" where nothing matter except finding and rescuing their comrades.



#20 scififry

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Posted 19 November 2013 - 06:01 AM

Exactly that was my experience while reading that scene, so kudos to you, it worked! :)




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