14 replies to this topic

[Massagraf]

Does anybody here know what to do when your struck by jealousy?

Now it's not about a love interest in this case, but about other people's creations and their success. For some reason I just can't stand it when people do the same what I do, but they get a lot more praise and success, even if most of the time, those creations are a lot better then mine.

For example, every time I see a random artist drawing an amazing Bunnie and getting loads of praise for it, I immediatly hate it for being great. There are so many great creative people out there and I really want to love their works, but for some reason I hate them for no reason. I hate to admit this, but this is probably the reason I stopped reading Archie... I despised the Bunnie-two parter, but seemed to be the only one caring, so I became jealous of how many people read it.

It's a pretty dumb feeling. These people should be inspirations, but they are more like obstacles, and we don't even know each other.

So, if anybody experienced this before or knows how to deal with this... help would be nice. But please remember I don't need advise about how to get successful, but how to appreciate the work of others. Thank you.

[Metallou]

I actually have the same issue, and it doesn't help when it's hard to me to have motivation in the first place. When creation jealousy strikes, my motivation drops to absolutely zero and it takes days, or weeks, or maybe months to have motivation back.

I absolutely hate it, because not only it is a stupid feeling like you said, but it slows down the creation of my works, which I hate even more.

The only thing I thought about (but never tried for some reason?) is to cut any links to creation (here, internet access) and spend most of your time practicing and training, while you're not worrying about other's work.

[chalcara]

Does anybody here know what to do when your struck by jealousy?

Now it's not about a love interest in this case, but about other people's creations and their success. For some reason I just can't stand it when people do the same what I do, but they get a lot more praise and success, even if most of the time, those creations are a lot better then mine.

For example, every time I see a random artist drawing an amazing Bunnie and getting loads of praise for it, I immediatly hate it for being great. There are so many great creative people out there and I really want to love their works, but for some reason I hate them for no reason. I hate to admit this, but this is probably the reason I stopped reading Archie... I despised the Bunnie-two parter, but seemed to be the only one caring, so I became jealous of how many people read it.

It's a pretty dumb feeling. These people should be inspirations, but they are more like obstacles, and we don't even know each other.

So, if anybody experienced this before or knows how to deal with this... help would be nice. But please remember I don't need advise about how to get successful, but how to appreciate the work of others. Thank you.

Okay, here is what I did in my case of unwanted artistic jelousity.

Yep, it seems to be common in artists, writers and similiar creative workers. Why? Who knows. You're definitivly not alone with this problem Massagraf.


First thing, accept that you're jealous. That step is important, because it won't go away until you've dealt with it - and trying to ignore it, while it can help for a short time, will only make the next outburst worse. Yeah, you "should" find other people inspirating, but you're not doing that right now - accepting that is important.
Emotions sometimes sucks, and you get jealous about other people's creations. It's normal. Many people do. They just rarely talk about it, because it's friggin emberassing.

And then figure out WHY you're jealous. There are MANY reasons to be jealous at somebodys work, and they usually have absolutly nothing to do with the other artists - only with yourself.

Is it because they get more attention? (aka can you deal with art that's better than yours but gets less feedback/praise?) Is it because it highlights your own faults and makes you uncomfortable? Or Is it because the other great art is a harsh reminder of where you think YOU should be skillwise?

Jealousy is a sign that you (unconsciously) believe that your art's not good enough for the "proper art" standard you subconsciously carry around in your head - if that belief is true or not, that doesn't matter. emotions are strange that way.

But if you figure out what exactly sets you off, you can start tackling the problem. Then you can go "yeah, I'm so frigging jealous of you, you bastard, because (insert reason here) - but you know what? I'm WORKING on this problem."

Thing is, that approach only helps when you actually do practice and work at getting better.

And if you need a short-term solution (like kinda "I need help NAOW"), then the best way is to go "screw it" and not look at other peoples art for a while, at least until you're more comfortable with your own. Why hurt yourself?

And if you need a justification for not looking at other peoples stuff, despite the "you must get inspired!" pressure, here's one proper one.

Before you can incooperate other people art into your own style, you need to grow comfortable and secure enough that you can work and improve on it without losing your mind. Not looking at other stuff will give you the time and headspace to do so. The not-looking-thing isn't forever, afterall.

[Metallou]

Chalcara, that was a great post. That might help a lot.

I questionned myself about why am I jealous, and those are the reasons:

1/ I'm not getting enough attention, as I consider that as a motivation fuel for me.
2/ The great performance of some artists highlights mine and makes me uncomfortable.

Thanks you. Also I really should try to avoid other people's creations for a while.

[BigWigRah]

I understand the feeling of jealousy people can get from seeing others achieve success. I can't say that I empathize with you, but I've been around enough people with this attitude that I can at least sympathize.

I'm a musician myself, and always made it a point to be the best out of any group I found myself in. This was not so much out of a desire to compete with others (although that's a small part of it), but as a desire to be the best that I possibly could. It was rather humbling to come to University and meet a bunch of other musicians who were leaps and bounds better than I could ever be.

In response to this, I asked myself a very important question. "What can I learn from them?"

The nice thing about being with so many good musicians in one studio was the realization I had that we were all working towards the same objective. Every one in the studio had the same goal as me to be as good as they could possibly be. When I thought of it that way, jealousy became irrelevant when I encountered other musicians who were better than me. I made a lot of friends in the studio that way, and was able to learn a great deal more. Had I isolated myself away from them, I probably wouldn't have had as good of an experience.

Hope my insight is somewhat helpful. Good luck with your endeavors.

[MistressAli]

Sometimes when I get jealous of an amazing artwork, I wonder if I would prefer to not have that art exist at all, or be glad that I got to witness such a beautiful creation. It's hard, but overall I guess I'd prefer to have seen it. I'd rather have more good art in the world than not, even if it makes me feel like shit sometimes. ...Doesn't make me any less jealous, but maybe less hateful

[salamander]

It's a hard thing to do, not taking art personally. It's hard not to feel jealous when you're worried about your own art, when you start to feel like you're never good enough as hard as you try.

Sometimes I just have to stop myself when I get into these negative thoughts, and step back. Who cares if I'm not perfect? If people don't like my drawings, so what?

The fact is, every artist out there had to practice to get where they are, they all have done bad drawings, and their art isn't perfect. It's not like they stepped into the world as a flawless artist.

Yeah, it's great when people like your art, but the more you obsess over being perfect, the more it hurts when you make a mistake.

Ultimately.. whether you like someone's art, or somebody likes your art, it's just an opinion. The less you care about people's opinions the better. Sure, their ideas, suggestions, and point of view can help you make your art better, but their general feeling of "I like this" or "I hate this" doesn't matter. It's about them. It doesn't effect you.

Maybe I'm talking more about perfectionism and being self-concious than jealousy but I think they are connected. The less you care about how you "stack up" the less threatened you get by other people's work.

Free yourself from worrying about what other people think and concentrate on what you think, and you'll see the world with pure unclouded eyes.

[Vlad Yvhv]

If it's really that much of a problem, seek counseling...

[Massagraf]

Counsling? No, there are problems in this forum dealing with death and disease, this is just a stupid teen's problem.

Thanks everybody for the kind advise. I'll do my best to make the most of it and get rid of it.

[furrykef]

Counsling? No, there are problems in this forum dealing with death and disease, this is just a stupid teen's problem.

Eh, maybe you shouldn't think like that. Problems are problems. Some of us have big problems, some of us have little problems, but what I've realized is your problems will always look big to you, no matter how many times you try to put it into "perspective". It's the way the human mind works. That's why there are millionaires in palatial mansions who still aren't happy.

If you need help, get help. If you don't, then don't. But depression and jealousy and such can have a serious impact on your life, so I think you should try to do something about it -- whether it's professional counseling or something else is up to you.

[PSI Hedgehog]

You could try asking the artists you are jealous of for advice on how to improve your artwork. If you ask, they might be able to give you some hints. There's no shame in asking for help or advice.

[Massagraf]

Thanks for helping but I think you are misunderstanding the problem here: I don't need to get better, I need to appreciate them.

[Vlad Yvhv]

Which's why I recommended counseling. And still do... A shrink may be able to help you work though whatever is causing you feel the way you do and overcome the problem... Their job is to deal with mental problems like this. A professional would be able to help you a lot more than random people on a message board...

[Massagraf]

It's not that big a deal, really. Just an annoyance.

[Massagraf]

The solution seemed to be a very unexpected one: Go national.

Quit hanging out on international communities or concentrating only on the ones that speak your language. I've been hanging out with Dutch and Belgians only since January, which means there's less people doing the same that you do, and if there are, they're easier to befriend. Plus, my Dutch generation consists of mostly great people. It's something about our culture that's just very likeable. Must be the tolerance.

...wait, why am I still here?