(When are you gonna post 'em, anyway, Chief?
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'Tis the SatAM Season #1 RESULTS!!
#21
Posted 24 December 2009 - 10:08 AM
(When are you gonna post 'em, anyway, Chief?
#22
Posted 24 December 2009 - 03:31 PM
#23
Posted 24 December 2009 - 04:14 PM
'Twas the Night Before Christmas (Fanfiction.net)
'Twas the Night Before Christmas (deviantART)
"To grasp happiness!"
"ERUPTING GOD FINGER!!! SEKI..."
"HA!"
"LOVE LOVE TENKYOKEN!!!"
-Domon Kasshu and Rain Mikamura, G-Gundam
#24
Posted 24 December 2009 - 08:41 PM
Did it really happen? Some people sent it only to John? I also sent it to Chief in case the other judges missed it.
But all is well ends well. Great holiday spirit for people doing this.
#25
Posted 24 December 2009 - 10:40 PM
#26
Posted 24 December 2009 - 10:47 PM
"To grasp happiness!"
"ERUPTING GOD FINGER!!! SEKI..."
"HA!"
"LOVE LOVE TENKYOKEN!!!"
-Domon Kasshu and Rain Mikamura, G-Gundam
#27
Posted 25 December 2009 - 12:17 AM
By the way, if I may offer just a bit of critique: you use adverbs frequently in your text. Adverbs can weaken your writing, because they're not as vivid or specific as using a better verb or adjective. For example, the beginning of my story once had the sentence, "Tails slowly walked away." I think this sentence improved when I revised it to, "Tails shuffled away."
Other times they add little and can simply be removed. (For instance, I could have left out "simply" in the preceding sentence. But I don't observe my "no adverbs" rule when making forum posts.
(I don't know how other writers feel about it, but I decided not to apply the rule so much for dialogue. For instance, I don't mind having a character say "I really don't think that's a good idea", because people really talk that way -- the "really" adds little, but it sounds more natural to me. But, of course, depending on context, something like "That's a horrible idea" may have more impact.)
What's funny is that you don't really notice the adverb thing until somebody points it out to you. And then once you start thinking in those terms, adverbs just leap at you like little monsters. It's kind of like learning about anatomy problems when drawing. First you don't notice them, but as you learn, they just leap out at you more and more...
All this isn't to say that adverbs aren't bad -- I still used a couple (outside dialogue, even) in my story -- but I would say that you should use them only when they really are the best choice.
A couple of other minor points that I noticed: you should use two hyphens to form a dash--like this--and/or put spaces around them - like this - to set them off better. Otherwise they look like hyphens and are visually confusing.
Also, the correct spelling of the expression is "bated breath". Common mistake. ^^;
You're free to tear my story to pieces in return.
- Kef
#28
Posted 25 December 2009 - 08:25 AM
Really? I've always thought that WAS how you spelled Snivley. o_O Huh.
As a matter of fact, yes.
"To grasp happiness!"
"ERUPTING GOD FINGER!!! SEKI..."
"HA!"
"LOVE LOVE TENKYOKEN!!!"
-Domon Kasshu and Rain Mikamura, G-Gundam
#29
Posted 25 December 2009 - 08:51 AM
#30
Posted 26 December 2009 - 01:14 AM
#31
Posted 26 December 2009 - 02:40 PM
#32
Posted 28 December 2009 - 03:39 AM
Seeing as no one could be bothered to send me a bribe... you are all deemed as losers! Fortunately for you guys the vote was 2-1 against me no awarding anyone a prize (bastards), so congrats to our Sea3on writer Gojira for winning what was totally not a rigged a contest.
PSI: You were supposed to send it in to all three judges however. But I take the responsibility for it in not making a better note of it and my absent here in the contest thread to stay away any confusion. On the up side yours was the only submission that got lost in my inbox; the not-so up side being yours was the only one that got lost. Truly sorry you missed out mate.
9:06
#33
Posted 28 December 2009 - 05:12 AM
Well, what the instructions said was:
"Either of us three" makes no grammatical sense, but I took it to mean "any of us three", which certainly doesn't imply "all three". Nowhere else does it indicate where the entries should be sent.
#35
Posted 28 December 2009 - 06:08 AM
I wonder if there is a chance I could enter the same story next time. I might include an additional segment revealing what they would have gotten for Christmas if Dr. Robotnik had not done anything to cement him on the naughty list with no hope of ever getting off of it.
#36
Posted 28 December 2009 - 02:39 PM
As for the judge thing, yeah, that was a fuck up and our fault.
#37
Posted 29 December 2009 - 07:52 PM
#38
Posted 30 December 2009 - 02:08 AM
Oh I know someone who writes up a lot of stuff. Mostly encyclopedias of bullshit though.
#39
Posted 30 December 2009 - 03:29 AM
9:06
#40
Posted 30 December 2009 - 11:40 AM
Glad there's no more of his clutter to endure as he's fucked off.
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